Pain is My Salvation...

That night... A night to remember...
A night when I found my salvation...

I still see it clearly as it just happened yesterday....

I was staring at those four white walls, lying down with so many depressing feeling in my mind. Wrath in my tainted heart... But ironically, also emptiness in my torn soul...

The tears were flowing down from my eyes, as I cursed for the fate that has been chosen for me... My body was trembling with hate and anger...

I tried to close my eyes, but all I saw was the pictures of my past. Haunted me until my last breath. I ran, but no place to hide... No escape... No redemption...

I laid silently inside the dark, grieved for the death of my spirit... Lost my faith to everything...

And then, suddenly it happened... It felt like there was another force, guided me to open my eyes and walked slowly but sure...

It happened so fast... A sharp blade and a flesh... And without even realized it, my arm has been painted with red blood...

The pain was crawling in my vein. Showering me with composure. With every single blood that dripped off, I found a piece of salvation...

I began to smile... Followed by laughter... As I have tasted the sweetness of pain...

I did not seek for death... But pain... To kill another pain...